Feelings Don’t Disappear…Even When We Ignore Them

We’ve all been taught, in ways big and small, to bypass certain emotions. To push them down.

“Don’t be angry.”

“Don’t cry about that.”

“Don’t make such a big deal out of nothing.”

“Just move on.”

So we practice burying our feelings – grief, anger, disappointment, fear, shame – because expressing them feels too risky, too messy, too much. And maybe for a while, it works. We keep it moving. We stay productive. We survive.

But emotions don’t disappear just because we ignore them. They sit in the body. They find new and creative ways to surface - through irritability, fatigue, muscle tension, defensiveness, anxiety, depression, even physical pain.

What we don’t express still needs a way out. That might look like tears that come out of nowhere. A sharp tone you didn’t mean to use. A body that stays on edge, or ill. An explosive reaction to an otherwise small inconvenience. A moment when you finally exhale and realize how long you’ve been holding your breath.

None of this means you’re flawed. It means you’re holding more than you were ever meant to carry.

The work is to make room for what’s been buried and dismissed. To feel it in small, safe ways. To let your body know: it’s okay to release it now. Because what you feel deserves to be felt, and freed.